A easy wish-list for girls

Girls are usually not asking for the moon. Our wish-lists have all the time been extra grounded. In 2016 and what seems like a lifetime in the past, I had written a bit on the ten devices ladies desperately want. These included excessive heels that collapse into flats and an alarm in our sanitary pads that will warn us of imminent overflow. I even made a public plea to the Elon Musks of the world to pay heed. However Musk, alongside along with his billionaire buddies, determined to speculate their money and time in phallic-shaped rockets and took off on joyrides into house. Our sanitary pads, regardless of wings, have remained on terra firma ever since. Nevertheless, like the common Indian voter who stays hopeful regardless of seeing no semblance of progress, I refuse to surrender as nicely.
Right here I return with a less complicated record of what ladies want (to not attain absolute equality; I go away that to brighter minds than mine) to get by means of the festive season.

1 | Rose-tinted glasses
These are glasses with built-in filter apps that airbrush, slim, elongate jawlines, and blow-up lips of our acquaintances, so we recognise the individuals we’re used to interacting with on-line. Just lately, the uncommon pal that I met in particular person was exhibiting me an image and mentioned,
‘See all of us look so contemporary on this
picture, such a pleasant filter!’ They
did certainly look contemporary, it’s simply unlucky that additionally they ended up trying Caucasian.

2 | A cellphone with inbuilt darts
To make use of discreetly on the uncles who name you ‘beta’ after which drape their tentacles throughout your naked midriff whereas pretending to take group pictures. A small quantity of horse tranquiliser can put extra harmful beasts to relaxation as nicely.

3 | Muttering masks
A masks with an Alexa built-in speaker, not in Amitabh Bachchan’s voice however our personal. This digital assistant shall be programmed to utter necessary statements like ‘You will have misplaced a lot weight’ or ‘I like your bag’ and even, ‘What a cute outfit, is {that a} Manish Malhotra?’

4 | A weighing balance that lies
A part of my unique wish-list, this one is required much more after a 12 months and a half of sitting inside 5 toes of our fridge and pretending banana chips rely because the advisable 2-4 servings of fruit a day.

5 | Steam beam
The second it senses a fleshy hand reaching for the samosas on the buffet desk, a scalding burst of steam is launched compelling the offender to jerk their appendage again and use the serving spoon as a substitute.

6 | Jhumkas with connected ear-pods
Used to decreasing the quantity and muting individuals throughout our Zoom interactions, these noise-cancelling ear pods can mute annoying individuals and add a layer of safety to our sanity.

7 | An ink-squirting ring
Reserved for the impeccably groomed doyens of society, who not solely discover each element about your outfit, but in addition the truth that you may have dedicated the final word fake pas by repeating the identical outfit on the final Diwali get together. Somewhat nudge and a sprig of blue ink can create a Rorschach picture on their bountiful bottoms.

8 | Anti-gravity cholis
So we don’t have to stay painful tapes or depend on mere hope to carry all the pieces in place in our backless cholis and blouses.

9 | Frequent sense kaju katli
Devour one and you’ll not consider that The New York Instances revealed an image of Modi ji on their entrance web page with a headline that mentioned, ‘Final, greatest hope of earth’ or, for that matter, the declare that Apple’s iPhone 13 is any totally different from iPhone 12.

10 | Pockets
As uncommon because the sighting of bobcats, pockets in attire and lehengas are such an anomaly that after after I posted an image of me strolling with my left hand tucked into the pocket of my flowery gown, I acquired greater than a dozen feedback questioning what I had carried out with my hand. One follower even requested if I had been in an accident and needed to bear an amputation. Pockets are necessary in males’s clothes. They’ve so many who they needed to provide you with a pocket sq. as a sartorial assertion to only fill one, whereas ladies have been left holding the bag each actually and figuratively talking.

We’ll handle with out all the opposite creative methods to get by means of this festive season, however no less than give us pockets. In our kurtas and our salwars. In our saris and ghagras. A spot to tuck away a masks, a cellphone, a bank card. Someplace to maintain our arms as a substitute of touching railings after which our faces. Let our arms be free to carry drinks and clutch onto our snotty youngsters. We’re not asking for an awesome invention, only a easy compartment sewn into our garments. Or is the notion of hands-free going to remain reserved solely for individuals who have rockets of their pockets?

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