Males Clarify How They Assume An Abortion Works

“Similar manner I removed the chipmunks digging up my garden—you plug all the opposite escape routes with a cork and put a lit stick of dynamite within the hassle gap.”

“One thing to do with consuming a bunch of Papa Johns, however I’m hazy on the specifics.”

“Tampon goes up. Fetus comes out.”

“Superconducting electromagnets create a robust magnetic subject that causes two high-energy particle beams touring near the velocity of sunshine to collide, producing a large—wait, sorry. That’s how the Hadron Collider works. I don’t know the way abortion works.”

“I assume I all the time figured a blender was concerned.”

“Ask my spouse. She’s the one who handles these types of issues.”

“Cannonball to the stomach.”

“You hearken to God and God tells you what to do, and if He calls for you give start, you then try this, and if He offers you extremely detailed directions for the best way to carry out your personal abortion, you try this too.”

“First, they draw a giant pentagram on the ground.”

“You drive to Hillary Clinton’s home and provides her a $10 invoice. She bites it to ensure it’s actual, after which she sucker punches you within the abdomen. My girlfriend’s had three of them.”

“You pay $600 and the issue simply type of goes away by itself.”

“You are taking one sip of wine.”

“The physician crawls inside the womb to shake the fetus’s tiny hand earlier than hitting it over the top with a frying pan.”

“It’s like ‘Scrunch,’ ‘Pow-pow-pow,’ ‘Nyeeee,’ ‘Awooga, awooga,’ ‘Buh buh buh,’ ‘HONK HONK.’”

“You go to the highest of the Statue of Liberty after which fall down all the stairs.”

“They provide the fetus a coupon for one free journey on a zipper line, the trail of which begins on the cervix and ends in a trash can.”

“The fetus does a bit faucet dance, after which the physician yanks it out with a cane.”

“The lady spreads her legs and blasts the fetus out onto a goal painted on the wall. Relying on how shut the fetus splatters to the bull’s-eye, that’s what number of taxpayer {dollars} she will get.”

“Gun to the fetus’s head, fast and straightforward.”

“Easy. A revivalist minister locations his hand in your pregnant stomach and similar to that no extra child.”

“A girl places her breast onto the mammogram machine, and growth, it smashes the newborn out.”

“Not likely certain, but when it’s all carried out appropriately, the girl dies.”

“They’re all carried out by some trans one that killed actual medical doctors to impersonate them. They yank the bloody fetus out of the womb screaming ‘Essential race principle!’ after which costume it up in drag to allow them to have intercourse with it.”

“Properly, the very first thing that should occur is to ensure my spouse doesn’t discover out.”

“Castanets. No fetus can resist the intoxicating name of the flamenco.”

“A witch physician lights some candles and speaks some Latin phrases backwards, then Devil comes and takes the newborn soul to hell.”

“No matter it’s, it ends in a disgrace that she is going to really feel till the day she dies!”

“They go inside the girl’s uterus and paint a tunnel on the wall after which the fetus runs into it, pondering it’s an actual tunnel.”

“After the fetus is out, everybody takes turns throwing baseballs at it.”

“You dance until it dies.”

“All I do know is that they rejoice by doing double Dutch with the umbilical wire.”