New Regulation Requires Political Candidates To Disclose Fetishes On All Marketing campaign Supplies

WASHINGTON—In an effort to supply U.S. voters with elevated transparency, a brand new federal regulation was handed Friday that requires political candidates to reveal their sexual fetishes on all marketing campaign supplies. “American voters have the suitable to know their elected officers’ perversions, whether or not they contain piss play, electrostimulation, bladder humiliation, or just ball crushing,” mentioned Federal Election Fee spokesperson Lydia Schwartz, who defined that the brand new regulation would compel candidates working for election at federal, state, and native ranges to incorporate details about their sexual kinks and fetishes of their video ads, mass mailings, and public e-mail communications. “Candidates ought to embrace the definition of their fetish in addition to a couple of examples for voters who would possibly in any other case battle to wrap their heads round self-impregnation. It isn’t sufficient to easily state that you’re aroused by balloons; you will need to disclose what about them makes them so titillating.” At press time, the FEC warned that failure to adjust to election regulation would end in extreme civil findom.