Over the moon and behind the marigolds

The Indian handbook of makeovers has some express directions with regards to beautifying our houses for celebrations. It advocates the Fast Gun Murugan technique of décor. A dent within the wall? Cowl it with strings of marigolds. Mouldy, damp patch by the door? Overlook waterproofing; hold a gota curtain over it. It has all the time been evident that we aren’t significantly bothered by what we see every single day however are preoccupied by what all of the Sharmajis of the world will consider our houses.

The G20 summit prep group is clearly following this handbook. What may be cleaned has been scrubbed to a gleaming end, and what can’t, is hidden behind a heap of posters, screens, and flowers.

We do should have an enormous, fats celebration after our grand Chandrayaan-3 success. The truth is, Isro chief S Somanath has been getting accolades each on earth and within the skies. When he boarded a latest IndiGo flight, the air hostess made an in-flight announcement calling him a nationwide hero. What was much more outstanding was the truth that he acquired free nuts with their dehydrated poha.

PHOTO CREDIT: Chad Crowe

The moon mission has been an excellent supply of pleasure with avenue events to whole housing societies internet hosting Chandrayaan soirees. There was a lot chatter about it on my constructing WhatsApp group, that one neighbour (who I now suspect to be a Chinese language spy, although he retains insisting he’s from Rajkot) known as the mission ‘Chandrayawn.’ I wished to cowl his automobile in mud, however I did one thing equally spiteful: I instantly threw him out of the group. No extra beautiful ‘Good morning’ and ‘Pleased Sunday’ forwards for him.

There may be one other extraordinary factor concerning the lunar mission that speaks to each Indian’s coronary heart: its discount worth. The Chandrayaan-3 operation reportedly price lower than half the funds of the film ‘Interstellar’. This has made all of the bhaisaabs who soar on the sight of two-for-one bonanza presents rejoice much more. Getting a great deal is a big a part of our inherent make-up. For the India vs Pakistan ODI world cup conflict in Ahmedabad, individuals got here up with an ingenious plan to cope with inflated lodge room costs: they booked hospital rooms as an alternative. This manner they pay cheaper charges for his or her keep and get a medical check-up concurrently.

In the meantime, the G20 dinner invitation from the ‘President of Bharat’ brought about frothing anchors and irate panellists to get into heated discussions over rumours of a reputation change. The opposition alliance, with the acronym I.N.D.I.A., additionally jumped into the fray. And a few joked that Pakistan was not simply getting its cricketers prepared, but additionally planning a googly by laying declare to the identify ‘India’ if we surrender it formally.

Now I’m the final one to take umbrage at any identify, which might be apparent by the truth that I’ve been lugging ‘Twinkle’ round for nearly 5 many years. Nonetheless, for members of my era, the definitive picture that the phrase ‘Bharat’ brings to thoughts is the enduring Manoj Kumar with a pained expression and a hand overlaying half of his face.

It will be fascinating if the electoral Kurukshetra of 2024 does grow to be a battle between Bharat and INDIA. However who’re the Kauravas and who’re the Pandavas on this Mahabharata will all depend upon which manner you lean, particularly if it’s to the left of the proper aspect.

One other chief skipping the G20 band baaja baraat together with Vladimir Putin is Chinese language President Xi Jinping. This has nothing to do with being confused between India and Bharat, as I’m positive my constructing spy would have defined these items to the Chinese language authorities. There are robust rumours that Xi Jinping had been very excited to attend the summit earlier when he mistook movies of Rahul Gandhi and our Laluji cooking mutton as a part of the G20 banquet preparations. Clearly, dal bati churma shouldn’t be going to chop it for somebody from a rustic that will not play cricket however considers it an edible dish as an alternative.

My fellow residents should not perturbed by Xi Jinping’s absence: the one Chinese language they really care about is the type that is available in takeaway containers. WhatsApp teams across the nation proceed to be over the moon on the thought of the G20 summit. My bua in Chanakyapuri, as an alternative of complaining about street diversions or the restrictions on meals deliveries throughout the summit, is busy posting updates of what she calls, ‘Our nation being proper up there with all the primary world international locations.’

They used to say that every one roads result in Rome however with roads quickly closed as world leaders arrived for the summit, it’s clear that every one flight routes lead solely to Delhi.

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